Stories of Motherhood
Posted by Kenzi Didericksen on
Being a mom is amazing, hectic, rewarding, and sometimes really, really hard. This week, we launched over a dozen new styles for our ROOLEE Mom collection. This collection was designed by moms for moms, to ensure function and fashion go hand-in-hand while running errands, going to an event, and feeding your little ones!
To celebrate the unique stories of women with all sorts of experiences regarding motherhood, we gathered a diverse group of women to share their advice and sentiments with us.
Don't forget to check out our Youtube channel here for more information about ROOLEE Mom and perspectives on motherhood!
What does being a mother mean to you?
Makenzie Wilson: You don’t have to give birth to be a mom. Motherhood is more of a feeling. It is to feel an overwhelming amount of love, responsibility, and selflessness.
Kristy Didericksen: It means giving unconditional love, learning, growth, sacrifice, patience, and forgiveness. It means reading stories, playing games, making messes, and cleaning them up. It means making mistakes, being afraid, having hope. It means dancing in the kitchen, being silly, making phone calls, and having heart-to-heart talks. It means tears, celebrations, encouragement, and being a number one fan! Being a mother means everything to me.
Chelsea Judd: Loving, nurturing, guiding, teaching and protecting.
Tia Montgomery: Being a mother, to me, means to help raise these kids in a safe, warm & loving space.Whitney Hale: To me, motherhood is a truly remarkable gift and privilege that I hold very close to my heart. It’s the ability to be my children’s biggest example, their support system, their cheerleader, their friend, all while showing them unconditional love. I can’t think of a better role to play in the entire world. I am so grateful I get to be a mom!
Describe motherhood in one word or phrase.
Makenzie Wilson: Unconditional.
Kristy Didericksen: A gift.
Chelsea Judd: Show up and give yourself grace.
Tia Montgomery: Beautiful.Whitney Hale: Absolutely incredible.
Tell us about your story and unique experience with motherhood.
Makenzie Wilson: I’ve always dreamed of being a mom, but I was always terrified. I didn’t know if I would be good enough or if I would live up to the mother I had always wanted to be. To be honest, I cried the night before we had my daughter because of the overwhelming feeling of responsibility that came over me. After she was born, that feeling quickly dissipated, and I felt the most intense love.
I went back to working as a pediatric ER nurse when my daughter was 12 weeks old. I continued to work until her first birthday, but the drive and hours quickly became overwhelming. I transitioned into being a full time stay at home mom and it was the best decision I ever made. Though I sometimes miss the satisfaction from working, I have a far greater reward being home with my daughter.
Kristy Didericksen: For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom. My own mom told me that when I was very young they couldn’t leave the house without me having one or two baby dolls or stuffed animals in my arms. She said I would even want them to be buckled up with seatbelt in the car.
I was married when I was 20 years old and one year later we had our first baby, a girl. I was a mom! I remember calling my husband at work one day while I was rocking her soon after she was born. I started to cry and asked my husband, “Does she know that I love her?” That was the first moment I began to understand a mother’s love.
Over the next 6 years we had 3 more children, all boys. With four young children in the house life was hoping to say the least. I remember holding our last baby boy as a new born and sharing with my husband that I had a desire to have another baby. He looked at me with a sort of confused, “are you crazy?” look.
Chelsea Judd: I always wanted to be a mother, but not right away. I didn’t try to get pregnant my first three years of marriage because I was finishing my teaching degree and internship. After that I was excited and thought it would just happen.
Six years went by and I had seen the doctors, and done all the things...except IVF. I did my first round and we had 3 eggs that wouldn’t progress to embryos. The doctor concluded that my egg supply was low and bad quality. He suggested to use an egg donor if I wanted to try it again. He encouraged me to use an anonymous donor. She was blonde and petite like me. But, it just felt weird to me to not know the donor.
I had been dancing with Tia Stokes on her Kalamity team. She knew what I was going through and decided to offer her eggs! I was so excited to have a known donor and someone who I admired. I was able to have 2 baby girls with Tia’s donor eggs. Then last year around this time, I discovered I was pregnant all on my own with baby girl number 3.
Tia Montgomery: It's a lot to type! IVF, miscarriage, stillborn & surrogacy! It’s been a very long harrowing road with incredible reward.
Whitney Hale: From the earliest age I can remember, I wanted to grow up and
be a mom. I could never decide on a career throughout high school, because it’s all I wanted to be! I got married young, had my first baby, and our world changed forever.
Becoming a mother was so incredible. So hard. I’m constantly learning from my children. I have experienced something different with each one of them. Discovering each of their traits and personalities has been so rewarding to me. I created that!
Every pregnancy and birth was so different, it gave me such an insight to the struggles that so many mothers go through to bring their children into this world. It taught me so much compassion and understanding to so many different situations.
I also had the unfortunate experience of losing a child. I remember thinking, I failed. I had one job on this earth. To raise my children. To protect them. To care for them. And I failed. How do i go on? How do I care for my other children when I feel so inadequate. How do I explain to them that their sister will never wake up? It was a really hard time in my life. And when I know others that are going through similar losses, my heart just shatters all over again. You CANNOT put into words, the feelings you have when your child passes away. It’s the most fragile I’ve ever felt as a human being. I don’t wish that pain on anyone.
Describe your current feelings toward motherhood.
Makenzie Wilson: It can be terribly exhausting, but it’s accompanied with belly laughs and the warmest love. I feel extremely fortunate to have this role in my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Kristy Didericksen: My current feelings towards motherhood include feelings of immense gratitude, appreciation, humility, and longing. Feelings of gratitude, appreciation, and humility for the many ways I am learning and growing from our children and motherhood. Feelings of longing for those earlier days when I could pick up our little ones to hold and comfort them, rock them, and read them stories.
Chelsea Judd: I feel incredibly blessed, and I’m grateful for all three miracle babies. Motherhood has taught me a lot about myself. Some days I feel like quitting and other days my heart explodes with so much love.
Tia Montgomery: I just feel lucky. There are many days where I just look at my kids and feel immense gratitude that they are here with me and Mike. That we get to give this whole parenting thing a go!
Whitney Hale: Loving this phase of motherhood that I am in. My boys are so big, it’s fun to have such a different relationship with them than when they were little. I have a really fun 3 year old that keeps me on my toes and it’s just a fun easy stage! It’s also a really hard time trying to navigate a lot of firsts with a teenager. The dynamic has shifted and it has taken a lot of learning, understanding, patience and growth.
What women inspire you most?
Makenzie Wilson: My mother and my grandmother. Both of these women are so selfless and loving.
Kristy Didericksen: Women who give their love freely, who see the light in others and share their own light.
Chelsea Judd: My mom!
Tia Montgomery: Oh man, so many! Any mom who is out there trying her best, showing up and finding grace for themselves as well as their kids.
Whitney Hale: The ones who helped raise me. The ones that loved me through every phase of my life and have always been there for me to lean on for support when I’ve needed it the most!
Would you describe your overall experience with motherhood to be positive?
Makenzie Wilson: Absolutely, but it’s attributed heavily to my support system. Motherhood can be extremely challenging, so it’s important to have family and friends that are trustworthy to help cope with the emotional and physical strain that can occur.
Kristy Didericksen: Yes, no question, yes.
Tia Montgomery: Yes, I see it as something that I fought like hell for, and I can’t imagine feeling negative towards the experience. I definitely have hard feelings towards my path.Whitney Hale: Definitely! It’s such an incredible thing to be a mother, I wouldn’t change the hard times for anything! It has shaped me into the mother I am today.
Have you struggled with loss or hardships?
Makenzie Wilson: As a stay at home mom, I have a constant companion, but at times it can feel very lonely. The lack of adult interaction you get as a stay at home mom can be quite a burden. It’s important for me to remember to keep myself healthy and that includes going out during the day, and staying in touch with friends regularly.
Kristy Didericksen: We were able to get pregnant right away, but soon after something didn’t seem right. This was the beginning of a new chapter and new experiences. Over the next several years we were able to get pregnant 5 different times, however each pregnancy ended prematurely. Two of the miscarriages lead to having a dilation and curettage procedure.
With each new pregnancy came new excitement. The excitement of having a new baby, another little member of our family. A new life to love and care for. With each loss there were tears shed with feelings of sadness and disappointment. I even wondered what was wrong with me? Was I doing something wrong?
This chapter of life might have been titled “Doctor Appointments and Patience.” No answers came from tests, lab work, or scans as to why we were having miscarriages when I had never experienced this before.
It was difficult to accept that I wouldn’t have any more children and the desire to have more children has never gone away, however I was able to feel a great sense of peace and gratitude for the children we were able to have. I love and cherish each of them.Whitney Hale: Yes! We lost our 3 year old daughter in 2017 in an accident and I had several miscarriages the same year. It was hands down the hardest year of my life.
What has the most challenging part of motherhood been?
Makenzie Wilson: I think the emotional toll. I find myself more sensitive than I have been in my entire life... I guess I have become more aware with how precious time truly is.
Kristy Didericksen: Overall, I feel the most challenging part of motherhood is wanting so badly to give your child ungiveable gifts. Maybe the gift of self-confidence, peace that everything will be okay, or knowing their individual identity and value. Just like I wondered if my first new born baby girl knew if I loved her, I still ask, do our children know how much I love them? Do they know that I would do anything for them?
Chelsea Judd: Balancing time for myself, and mom guilt.
Tia Montgomery: Mostly the journey to get to motherhood.Whitney Hale: I really think the most challenging thing is growth. As a mom of young kids it’s a lot of work, but they depend so much on you, you are in charge, but it’s not overly complicated. As my kids have each gotten older, I’ve had to learn how to be the mom they needed at each stage. Each child is so different and understanding their individual needs has been something that we have figured out day by day. What kind of attention or support are they currently needing? What struggles are they dealing with at school and with friends? It’s experiences that help us grow as parents and I have been trying to embrace the growth alongside my kids. I want to be the parent to them, that I needed as a child.
What has been the most rewarding part of motherhood?
Makenzie Wilson: The most rewarding part of motherhood is being my daughter’s number one fan. I will always be in her corner no matter what, and I swear she can sense that. She is my very best friend, my shadow, and my little angel. The grins, the belly laughs, the messy fingers, and stinky toes make it all worth it.
Kristy Didericksen: The most rewarding part of motherhood for me has been those times when I have witnessed our children gaining self-confidence, experiencing peace, and understanding their own identity and value.
Chelsea Judd: Witnessing the world all over through the children’s eyes! And of course, the intense love you feel from children.
Tia Montgomery: Getting these kids earthside! Seeing the good things that take years to instill in your kids finally show through. The kindness and love I attempt to teach everyday, when it starts to show up in your kid! It’s amazing.Whitney Hale: The most rewarding to me, is watching my little kids grow into who they are becoming. As they get older, and you watch their personalities develop, their little quirks, their habits and their strengths, it’s incredible to watch! I am the mom that is always crying at their accomplishments, whether it’s academically, in sports, or just how kind they are to others. There’s nothing more rewarding than to be told what a gentlemen your son was to someone, etc!
If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
Makenzie Wilson: People will always remember your kindness. And you’re doing a great job.
Kristy Didericksen: I would lovingly advise my younger self to ask for more help. Why I ever thought it was okay to go to the grocery store with all 4 children is beyond me. If you are a mother, currently doing this…I invite you to ask for help.
Tia Montgomery: Buckle up! It's a rough ride, honey.
Whitney Hale: Advice I would give myself. Don’t sweat the small stuff. We all have bad days as a parent. We all have had a day where we go to bed angry or upset or frustrated because the kids just weren’t listening, or wouldn’t do their chores. And it’s ok! The next day is a fresh start. Your kids will wake up happy, ready for a new day with their mom.
If you could change anything about your history with motherhood, what would it be?
Makenzie Wilson: Give more grace to my own mother. Tell her often that she is amazing and how much I truly love and appreciate her.
Kristy Didericksen: Not too long ago, I probably would have answered this question by saying that I would have changed my history with motherhood to have had the opportunity to have more children. However, I feel peace and gratitude with the children we have and the blessings they are to me.
Tia Montgomery: It’s hard to think too long on questions like this without resentment or disappointment coming up.Whitney Hale: To not be so hard on myself when I wasn’t the perfect parent. When I lose my temper or have just had enough, it’s ok to take a few minutes to myself, reset, reassess the situation and try again. I have to give myself a little grace!
If you could give advice to women out there in a similar circumstance as you, what would it be?
Makenzie Wilson: Make sure your mental health comes first. If you’re in need of a break or need some time alone from your child after being home with them all day, it’s healthy and okay.
Kristy Didericksen: As I think about advice I would give to women in similar circumstances, and to myself, I would say, “Look for, and create ways to continue to be a part of your children’s lives. Continue to give that unconditional love, listen, learn, grow, sacrifice, exercise patience and forgiveness. Make phone calls, have heart to heart talks, cry, and celebrate. Continue to play games, dance in the kitchen, be silly and be your children’s number one fan!”
Chelsea Judd: Remember that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. You don’t need to be alone. Have an open mind and heart. Share your story and connect with other women.
Tia Montgomery: Find Grace and hold on to it! Focus on the outcome you’re fighting for and keep going!
Whitney Hale: Keep going. It’s hard. But one day at a time. One step at a time, you will get through it. Find your people and let them help you. Lean on them when you need it! You got this!
What does being a mother mean to you? Share with us in the comments below!
Check out our new ROOLEE Mom collection here!
This is beautiful! The message, the pictures, the mamas, I love it 💗