"What you allow is what will continue." This quote has been floating around social media and my own mind lately. As I've thought about the new year and resolutions that could help all of us, I keep returning to the idea of setting boundaries. Self-care is a common theme throughout this blog, and I'm learning that setting boundaries are vital to self-care! Keep reading to learn how to set boundaries that will protect your energy and foster positive relationships in your life!Shop our latest new arrivals here!
What are boundaries + why do we need them?
Boundaries are dividing lines that mark the limits of an area. In relationships (romantic, friend, work, self, etc.), boundaries are limits or rules you set to protect yourself. Boundaries create a clear directive for how you want to be treated, so you can feel understood, respected, and safe, and avoid feeling anxiety, burnout and resentment.Shop ROOLEE home here!
How do I set positive boundaries?
The first critical step in setting positive boundaries is to look within yourself and recognize your worth. Recognize the things that energize you and drain you, the things that bring you happiness and the things that bring you stress, and finally– the things that strengthen your value and the things that compromise it.
You may already have certain boundaries set in place; take time to acknowledge them. An example of this could be recognizing there is a line of professionalism already existing in your relationship with a coworker; define that in your own words. Once you have defined what is already in place, look at where you need boundaries but are lacking them; take time to recognize them. An example of this could be seeing that you have a set schedule for working hours, but you/others work outside of that schedule; define that in your own words.
Follow the three C’s: clear, concrete communication. If you aren’t clear about what your needs are, you leave it to others to guess. If you aren’t rooted in your feelings and expectations, you become susceptible to manipulation. And if you don’t communicate your needs, expectations and feelings, you might as well not have boundaries at all. It’s important in your communication to respect the other person’s boundaries as well. It’s absolutely possible to be calm and respectful in your interactions while also remaining clear and concrete.
What makes setting boundaries a positive experience for both parties is allowing for growth from each party. For example: you can hold firm to the need to keep your set work schedule and not work outside those hours and ensure your work gets done within that time. It takes time to change– allow yourself and others grace, but do not let go of your boundaries. When someone crosses that boundary, set it again. Calmly reinforce your needs and what you will/won’t accept. Each year, month and day, we are given new opportunities to grow and become the best versions of ourselves! This year, let’s make a goal together to set positive boundaries so we can achieve our highest potential. Shop loungewear here!
What is a boundary you are setting in 2023? Let us know in the comments!
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